Stolen Thunder : Trust Blunder

hah. the rhyme. the past couple of days have been quite a rocking experience for me. joy and disappointment have come together and have taken me for a ride again. quite recently the hullabaloo over a certain academic prize doled out to the scorer of the highest marks in the university examinations had come to an end. well the story goes this way. back in june last year, i found out that i had scored the highest marks in social and preventive medicine in my university exams along with another girl in the batch. according to the prevalent tradition, an endowment award is given out each year on this achievement. i was not too familiar with this because for various reasons i had not attended the last two college day celebrations, the occasion for such an award. well anyway as luck would have it the clerk concerned with the job of creating lists of results messed up and left me forty marks short of my original score. so on that day, the award was presented only to the girl much to the bewilderment of my friends. and to be honest i was a little disheartened myself. unaware of such a clerical error i set out to find the reasons for such a decision. and in the process discovered the mess and got down to the process of setting things right. a week later i had the certificate minus the endowment money handed to me by an attendant at the principal’s office. it is shameful. not only did they commit a mistake, they also hadn’t had the decency to set the records straight. the principal was oblivious to the certificate he signed. well anyway a lot of things don’t work the way we want them to. so here i was half let down yet ecstatic because the people i cared to tell would actually bother to appreciate the achievement. or so i thought. i meant for it to be a surprise. and when i came out with the story of how i went about the whole week trying to set things straight, it dawned on me that something unintended had happened. my travails were to get the award to hand so i can officially declare myself a winner to all those who mattered. yet it turned out to be a trust issue. some said i didn’t trust them enough to have let them known earlier. much explanation later, with only a fraction of the enthusiasm i realised that much more and different was expected of me than i thought. it was a moment of glory gone awry. the award had been overshadowed. yet it did not matter because i value trust. and to me the first priority was to set that right. well anybody can guess how successful i might have been at doing that. it was of no use. a futile attempt.

trust i seek and i find in you - metallica

each of us learn the game of trust by trial and error. i may have made more errors in the process so i deal with trust very carefully. i try and make sure that the trust placed in me is well served and at times i plainly refuse to be entrusted. likewise, most people would have their own way of showing trust. for some it is trivial matters while for others more important ones substantiate their trust in another. if this was better understood then maybe i wouldn’t have faced the situation i found myself in.

trust is a wonderful thing.